faith., giving back., in my head., personal things., photography., this is life.

This Whole Job Thing.

I’ve had conflicted feelings about getting a “summer” job. I got one actually, at Subway, but ended up turning it down realizing I’m already working two “real” jobs that I love.

With all of my friends getting hired at different places as summer help, I can’t help but feel guilty sitting at home all day in front of photoshop. I just feel as if I’m cheating on a part of my life – a “teenage” job that I hate, like I have to pay my dues to be happy. Cory told me that I’m nuts, that most people work their whole lives to get to have a job that they love, he says the goal is to feel like you’re not working at all. I know that he’s right, that God has blessed me with not one but two wonderful, well above minimum wage, jobs that I more than look forward to each morning as I wake up. So why do I feel like this is all so wrong? Why am I embarrassed that I’m not flipping burgers at Mickey D’s? I wish I could answer this because it has had me stressed beyond belief.

I am a young business woman, starting a successful photography business at the age of fifteen. I am a determined young lady, landing a job at a well known dance studio just outside of Columbus when they weren’t even hiring. I know that my hard work has gotten me where I am, that my mature nature landed me the jobs of my dreams in my teen years. All this considered, I can’t help but feel as if I’ve cheated a little bit, that I zoomed past the “teen” job landing an “adult” job instead. Believe me, I am NOT complaining about this at all, I love that work doesn’t feel like work to me. All I am saying is that I’ve been feeling a tad bit guilty knowing I’m editing in the a.c. while my boyfriend is frying on a mower under the hot summer sun.

It’s a God thing. I have no other explanation for how I got so lucky. I know that I am responsible, determined, hard working and organized, but I also know that on my own those traits can only get me so far, the rest is in God’s hands. I’m trying to lose these feelings of uneasiness over this whole job thing. I’m done questioning. Instead I’ll send up a prayer of thanks and enjoy the opportunities I’ve been given. I believe I can do great things – make a difference in many young lives. I have been placed in two amazing positions in which I can spread my wings and soar. You can’t say that about every “summer” job. I have been blessed and I have promised myself to take full advantage of the opportunities at hand. Cory’s right, I have what most people want. Why question? Why not just enjoy?

Note: these images are from classes I taught last year.

in my head., personal things., simple joys., this is life., time.

Jump Right In.

I had such a wonderful time with my friends last night. I had such a wonderful time dancing to old songs in my back yard. I had such a wonderful time staying up until four am just talking with some very lovely girls. I don’t want to give any of this up. I don’t think that I have to, but I think that I’m ready to grow up – grow old – with this kid (Cory).

This kid who..

..makes me smile.

..takes me dancing.

..holds my hand.

..cuddles me awake.

..keeps me laughing.

..steals my kisses.

..watches chick flicks.

..listens to my stories.

..takes me on adventures.

..encourages me to dream.

..loves me unconditionally.

He’s the one. I knew I loved him before we started dating in January of 2012 but I didn’t say it right away. He is my best friend and soul mate and I’m ready to begin my life with him. I don’t think I’m rushing things, I never understood why people who knew they were with the one waited so long to get married. I know that were young, but why not? If you’re going to grow old together why not grow up together?

These are the questions I’ve been asking myself over and over and I can’t seem to come up with a good answer, not for me anyway. I believe that every love story is different. I love mine. I love the person who is helping me write it. I am not taking this time for granted, I am loving every single second of it. I love my now, but it would be nice to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning (among other things). It’s hard being away sometimes. I want that to be gone. I’m ready. I’m trying so hard to be patient and I know that when the time is right it’ll happen. This is just how I’m feeling at this point in my life and I wanted to write it down so that I will never forget. I’ll never forget this yearning, this need to be closer. I can look back after were wed and remember how hard all of this waiting truly is.

I am so ready to jump right in..

..I think that he is too.

faith., in my head., personal things., simple joys., this is life.

I Will Never Drown…

God is good.

What he takes away he gives back in ways far greater than we could every imagine.

I thought I was done with dance, thought that chapter of my life had ended.

He had other plans.

Now I get to teach in the city I will soon be calling my home. Now I get to share my passion for dance with the little souls around me.

He opens doors, I truly believe that. All we have to do is have enough faith to walk through and start living the life that awaits us on the other side.

Today, and everyday, I am giving God all of the glory. He has taken me sooo many places I never dreamed I’d be, and I’m only seventeen.

I know that the waters may get rough, but I am anchored to the rock. I may sink, but I will never drown.

Thank you God for giving me this opportunity, for having faith in my ability to do your will.

faith., in my head., photography., simple joys., this is life.

Darling, Don’t…

Darling, you were made to do great things.

Don’t listen to those who tell you you can’t.

Don’t surround yourself with people who doubt.

Don’t fall into societies “norm”.

Don’t turn your back on your morals.

Don’t forget where you came from.

Don’t give up when the going gets tough.

Don’t be afraid to shine.

Don’t forget to thank your friends and family.

Don’t over think the little things.

Don’t take this life for granted.

Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith.

Don’t forget to give God all the glory.

And don’t you ever settle for anything less than your best.

…

a place to vent., in my head., personal things., this is life., time.

Uncut And Unedited…

I’m back.

And I’m feeling unloved, under appreciated and unimportant.

I woke up extremely early this morning to an extremely sad dream and have done little but take up time and space since then. I feel like I’m letting my life slip away, but I have nothing to do, nowhere to go. I’ve tried all of my options, contacted all of my friends and still nothing. I feel like all I’ve done today is let people down. I hate that. I hate hurting people. But it’s just been that kind of a week. When you have little to do, you start to feel useless, like your existance doesn’t matter. I’m trying to shake these feelings but I’ve yet to find something to do to take my mind off of things. I guess that’s why I’m writing. It gives me hope reading through old blog posts and seeing the highs that have come after the lows. I love my life, where I’m at, what I’ve done. I’ve just seem to hit a little bump in the road. It won’t take much to pull me back up on my feet, just someone to notice the change. Someone to see that I’m sad and to want to make me happy. I guess that this is what boredom does. I’m honestly experiencing it for the first time. I know that probably seems shocking, me being a teenager and all, but I’m normally soooo busy that I have little to no time for me. Now I have too much and I’m going stir crazy. I just want to go out, to do something be with someone – anyone, but tonight I guess that’s not the case. I really should be enjoying the free time, I have two photo shoots everyday the rest of this week and I know that I’ll be stressed. But I feed off of that, I crave that. I need to stay busy, or I’ll go crazy – obviously. I apologize for the scatterbrainedness of this post. But it’s all just my raw emotion poured out on a page – uncut and unedited. This is who I am, this is how I feel, and as of lately I haven’t been liking either.

faith., in my head., personal things., photography., simple joys., this is life., time.

Time…

Time never ceases to amaze me.

We’re living in the now – not out of choice but out of force. We are stuck on a one way path that continually pushes us into the future. But we never reach that place – the future, because we are always stuck in the now. We constantly struggle with wanting to both skip ahead and go back, to a certain place in time – a memory. But that’s not the way it works. Time is both our friend and our enemy, giving and taking our loved ones away. Time is a funny thing, moving both slowly and quickly. Here for only a brief second, and then gone, lost forever. It is a thief in plain daylight. What time gives to you it inevitably takes away. No matter what you do, say or try, time will always win. It will beat you, you will lose. But time isn’t all bad, it’s not always the enemy. Time allows us to create moments, memories. To experience life, childhood through adulthood – the many stages inbetween. Without the passage of time we’d never fall in love, marry, begin families of our own. We’d never advance, just stay stuck in on fixed point for the rest of eternity – no knowledge gained, no memories made, no lessons learned. We were made for so much for than that. We were made to live on this one way street. To experience different things, meet different people, and impact this world around us. From before we were conceived we were each given an allotted time here on this earth. It has already been planned out. Time is nonnegotiable – no refunds. Some are blessed with more time than others. Some are killed in the womb, others survive well into triple digits. We have been given a gift – time. It is up to us how we choose to spend it.

<3 Kaitlyn

in my head., personal things., simple joys., this is life., time.

Amazing Paths…

Today I am keeping it short and sweet.

This is what God has placed on my heart, an wonderful bit of wisdom I’ve decided to share with you.

I’m beginning to see that if your doing what you love and following your heart you can’t go wrong. It doesn’t matter what anyone else may say or think, your dreams can take you anywhere – just so long as your willing to follow wherever it is they may lead ♥

Two weeks after graduation and they’re already taking me down some pretty amazing paths. Thank you to God for opening up these doors, I am sooo excited to discover what my futures holds.

PS) This past weekend I performed in my final dance recital, since my feelings towards that are still a jumbled up mess in my head I’ve decided to wait a few days before I touch on the subject.

personal things., photography., simple joys., this is life.

New York In Pictures (Part IV)…

The long awaited conclusion of my very wonderful week in NYC. Enjoy!

Wednesday (Evening).

Thursday.

These are not real..promise (mainly due to my extreme fear of both wrists AND needles).

Thank you all for joining me on this incredible journey. I hope that these images were able to accurately share the way that I saw this beautiful city with you. I promise I’ll get back to words for my next post. Until then, lots of love – Kaitlyn.