What it’s All About.

So far (minus my new garage sale shoes giving my heel MAJOR blisters) my day has been going pretty well.  Hopefully this is a sign for the rest of my day and into my weekend.

It all started out as I was walking to my 8am.  My feet were hurting from my shoes, and I had a terrible feeling that this was going to be an omen for my Thursday.  Luckily as I was crossing the street things changed.  There were two campus security officers manning the crosswalk.  As I was crossing the first said to me, “Hey are you ready for the art world today Miss?!  It’s your campus and you get to paint it!”  To which the second officer replied, “Just not the buildings!”  This cracked me up, I am seriously still laughing about it.  I just love running into happy and optimistic people in the morning.  So many folks are grouches who walk around with their heads buried in a cup of coffee.  It’s extremely nice to be greeted with a smile at seven thirty in the morning for a change.

So I went into my Design for Media class feeling great!  Class went well, and to top it all off, we got out a whole hour early.  That’s the point I’m at now, enjoying the chance to sit down in the library and blog because I’m for once not running in a million directions.  It feels really good, and I am staying positive, only two more classes until the weekend.  Sure it’ll be a busy one, but I get to see Cory, and that fact alone makes all of the work I do throughout the week worth it.  A weekend of running, homework and snuggles.  And isn’t snuggling with the ones we love what it’s all about anyways?

 

 

 

 

 

The above picture is a throwback to the summer of 2012 (which I realize wasn’t actually too terribly long ago).

<3 Kaitlyn

Don’t Worry.

Today has been a rough day.  I officially moved into my apartment and had made myself sick in the process.  I think I dreaded it all less last year.  This year there’s no Cory living fifteen minutes away, a fact that has caused all the excitement I should be feeling to vanish into thin air.  He did sooo good comforting me today, and although I spent most of it in the bathroom, the parts where I wasn’t were nice.  He managed to get off work early (six hours early) to take me out to breakfast, and we cuddled and watched The Middle.  We even made some trade ins at Level Up.  At one point I remember him saying “You’re going to make art, you love art!”  There were moments today when I tried so hard to freeze time; cuddles on the bed, sitting on the floor looking a games in the store, holding hands in the car, yet they flew by.  Now it all seems like forever ago.  Now I’m sitting here writing, all alone, missing Cory and wondering where exactly summer went.  I haven’t even allowed myself the room in my mind to worry about classes starting next Monday.

There has seriously only been one thing that’s gotten me this far – God.  I was reading my Bible last night when I came across Philippians 4:6, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”  Since then I have decided to implement this as my new life motto, which is hard because I often find my mind going into worried filled tangents while I’m in prayer (very counterproductive).  But I’m trying and I am going to give it my all.  I have too, I need someone to rely on now more than ever, someone I can’t count on being there one hundred percent of the time.  My goal this year is if nothing else, really truly grow in my walk with Christ.  Sometime last year things got a little fuzzy and I want to get back on track.  I’ve done pretty good with Bible reading and prayer this summer, but I want to be better.  I keep a prayer journal and that’s helped me a lot.  I’m finding peace and I’m trying so hard to stay positive.  I have so much in my life to be positive about.  I am so happy the Lord showed me Philippians 4:6 when he did, because I have a feeling I’m going to be referring it to myself a lot this year.  No amount of worry or longing will cause Cory to relocate to Columbus right now, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love me.  I know he does, and I know God has done all of this for a reason.  I am going to trust him, and continue down this path he has laid for me, which is proving to be much harder than I had originally expected.

The Same Level.

I had a wonderful day shopping with my mom.

For starters it was a beautiful day here in Ohio, high of seventy degrees, bright blue sky, sunshine and lots of puffy white clouds. The weather was perfect, everything was. It was one of those days that make you realize why you put up with the usually raining, overcast Ohio. It was a gem, truly a gift from God.

That aside, my mom and I had a fantastic day. We drove (got lost) on a detour in the country on the way to the mall. Neither of us got much, I only went home with two new sports bras, a green crew neck and the cutest pair of floral embroidered ankle booties (on killer sale), but we talked and laughed and just enjoyed each others company. We had a yummy Panera lunch where we coincidentally ordered the exact same meal – half a chipotle chicken panini, half a Greek salad and berry tea, ate and then went home. It was great, absolutely no bickering or annoyances. I think that this is the first time I’ve really truly felt on the same level as my mom. It was like we weren’t just having a mother-daughter day but rather a date between two best friends. I know she will always be mother, and I will always look to her and respect her in that way, but it feels like I gained something today – a new best friend. I love that. I have always been fond of our relationship, but I am absolutely in love with how’s it’s transforming into something new and a little bit different. I enjoy talking as equals, listening to advice and sharing stories. I think I may even respect her more because of it.

I love my mom.

I Want To Remember.

I had the best day today, one of those days that makes you fall a little bit more in love with life.

Cory got off work early today which meant I got to see him at eleven thirty instead of four o’clock like usual. To celebrate this we headed into town to split a sub from Subway. He recently turned me on to there nine grain honey oat bread, which I had never tried before, and the five seventy five Italian sub. I used to be a cold cut combo on Italian herb and cheese girl, but not anymore. Anyways we got the sub and headed to the park where we spread my parents wedding gift picnic basket under a big tree. It was nice and breezy in the shade and we wanted to stay a little longer. We were thinking of what to do when Cory remembered he had five of his seven Nerf guns in the trunk of his eighty five. We set up the Off bottle and had target practice (which I somehow managed to kick his buns in), told stories, got muddy feet (I never wear shoes) and laughed. It was wonderful.

We eventually packed up our ammo and headed back to my house wear we continued our mission of beating my Crash video game. I’m terrible at video games, so when he finally got frustrated with the part we were stuck on I began to brag about the only video game I’d ever beaten – Bratz Rock Angels in the fifth grade. I put it in to show him, turns out I didn’t beat it after all, I missed an entire mission. Needless to say I’ll be hearing about that for quite some time.

My dad made chili. We ate and then my mom and Cory decided to watch Stargate. I curled up on his chest and fell asleep, he let me lay there until he had to leave.

Today was the type of day I had to record, because today was the type of day I want to remember.

A Summer Moment.

I just wanted to take the time to record my yesterday.  It was wonderful.  I’ve been struggling with some things lately and I can finally say that I’m in a good place once again.

Cory and I both stayed the night at a friends the night of her graduation party.

We woke up and he took me home to shower and change, next we went to his house so that he could do the same.

Then he took me into town and treated me to brunch at Bob Evans.  He had a breakfast platter with eggs over easy, cubed potatoes, sausage and french toast.  I had half of a turkey, bacon melt sandwich and a cup of loaded baked potato soup.  We shared a bottomless carmel mocha (delicious) and he commented how whenever you go somewhere they take forever to bring you any fancy coffee refills so that you can’t drink “too much”.

We then spent the afternoon at the flee market, digging through boxes and reminiscing.  He bought me the cutest beanie babe seal named Iceburg and I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face.

After the market he took me to see Despicable Me 2.  It was amazing, maybe even better than the first.  I took Iceburg with me inside.

On the way home he held my hand and simply said “Now this is a ‘summer moment.'”  I couldn’t have agreed anymore.

Once we were at my house he helped me set up for the shoot I’d been dreaming of for awhile (see image below).

He left and my lovely girls came to be photographed.

After the session we headed to Shantels to swim.  Instead of swimming we ate hamburgers and Fritos and played Apples to Apples.

It truly was the perfect day.

To see more of my photography work check out my Facebook page here.

<3 Kaitlyn

Being Loved.

I am loved.

I am so so sooo loved.

By my God,

my parents,

my Cory.

And it’s amazing. It’s amazing just how much we as humans are capable of loving and being loved in return.
I just finished reading three things.

The Bible.

Not the whole thing of course, just a little chunk. I try to do this each night, and it never fails to astonish me just how great God’s love for me truly is.

My mom’s letter.

My mom wrote me a letter when I was a week old, she sealed it up and gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday. The perspective it gave me was amazing, the newness of me, of what that was like, of unfathomable love.

My Cory’s letter.

Cory wrote me a letter and gave it to me on our first Valentines Day together over a year ago. We had been dating only twenty one days, it was a list of twenty one things he loved about me. They were all sweet, innocent things. Things that showed how much he listened, observed, cared. He had yet to tell me he loved me when he gave me that letter, but I knew. I knew because I loved him too. And each day, although I don’t think it could be possible, I fall a little deeper in love with him. The way he listens instead of talks, his witty comebacks, his strong arms when he holds me, the way he tucks my hair behind my ear, how I can sometimes see him studying my face – trying to read my thoughts – out of the corner of my eye.

Sweet Dreams and I Love You.

So I am the blogging queen tonight, but I just thought of something else that I needed to write down – wanted to share.

Each and every night Cory goes to bed around ten so he can be rested for work in the morning.  And each and every night I tell him “sweet dreams and I love you”.  I wanted to record why.

I always say sweet dreams because I believe it’s the best thing you can wish a person in the evening.  I want him to have a peaceful, restful night’s sleep.  I want him to awaken from his slumber with a smile on his face because of what he saw while his eyes were closed.

I tell him I love him because I do.  I always say that before he hangs up the phone, leaves for the night or we must stop texting.  I want that to be what he leaves with, heaven forbid something happens to either of us.  I just want him to know.

I just sent him this message.

He sent back “Love you too, sweet dreams bug :)”.

Each night he calls me a different animal: duckling, goose, giraffe, puppy – bug.  I think that it’s the absolute cutest thing in the world.

On a slightly different note I am also know for giving him extremely long hugs.  The same theory applies.  It’s so hard for me to let go because of all the what ifs.  I just want to hold him as long as possible because I love him.  I love him so so much.  Simple as that.

Storybook Life.

It feels good to be home.  It feels good to be seeing friends I wasn’t so good at keeping up with throughout the school year.  It’s almost as if my freshmen year of college didn’t even happen and it is so weird.  It feels as if nothing has changed, like I’m still stuck in high school doing mediocre things in a mediocre town.  Then I begin to think.  I think that in one month I’ll be moved into my own apartment, I think that in two months I’ll begin my sophomore year of college, I think that in seven months I’ll have been with Cory for two whole years, I think that in eleven months I’ll be finishing that same sophomore year of college and I think that in thirteen months I just might have a ring on my finger.  

Holy cow.

Maybe I think too much.  It freaks me out sometimes when I break it down and realize just how quickly time is moving and just how little control I have over any of it.  I have to force myself to step back and think about my list of thoughts, the wonderful milestones I’m about to reach.  I have to remind myself that it’s all in God’s hands, that he has my back and knows better than anyone what wonderful things my future holds.  These thoughts take the fears of the unknown away from me and I am left with nothing but excitement.  This excitement is often mistaken for impatience, but I promise that I would never wish away time.  It’s just that sometimes I cannot wait to see what I’ll do, who I’ll become.  I am sooo excited to walk down the aisle, graduate school, start a business, meet my kiddos and live happy after with my Cory.  Who wouldn’t be?  In my eyes thats a storybook life.

I realize I’ve jumped wayyy ahead of myself here, so I’ll take it back to today.  I am going to reflect on what June 2, 2013 offered me.  It gave Cory and I both headaches which kept us from church, but he came over anyways and we snuggled and napped them away.  It gave me two graduation party’s in which I got to see many long lost faces.  It gave me a chance to see my friends for the second time in a weekend at Need’s Campground, eating tacos and hitting a piñata in honor of Joe.  It gave me a chance to be forgiven for being a huge butt.  It gave me a chance to say I’m sorry and the opportunity to have the most wonderful time with Cory.  These gifts are my now, a now that I am in love with.  They keep me from running full force into my future, a future that I am also in love with.  Basically I’m leading a life that I’m in love with, and that is something that Cory has told me some people spend their whole lives searching for.  I am blessed.

Jump Right In.

I had such a wonderful time with my friends last night.  I had such a wonderful time dancing to old songs in my back yard.  I had such a wonderful time staying up until four am just talking with some very lovely girls.  I don’t want to give any of this up.  I don’t think that I have to, but I think that I’m ready to grow up – grow old – with this kid (Cory).

This kid who..

..makes me smile.

..takes me dancing.

..holds my hand.

..cuddles me awake.

..keeps me laughing.

..steals my kisses.

..watches chick flicks.

..listens to my stories.

..takes me on adventures.

..encourages me to dream.

..loves me unconditionally.

He’s the one.  I knew I loved him before we started dating in January of 2012 but I didn’t say it right away.  He is my best friend and soul mate and I’m ready to begin my life with him.  I don’t think I’m rushing things, I never understood why people who knew they were with the one waited so long to get married.  I know that were young, but why not?  If you’re going to grow old together why not grow up together?

These are the questions I’ve been asking myself over and over and I can’t seem to come up with a good answer, not for me anyway.  I believe that every love story is different.  I love mine.  I love the person who is helping me write it.  I am not taking this time for granted, I am loving every single second of it.  I love my now, but it would be nice to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning (among other things).  It’s hard being away sometimes.  I want that to be gone.  I’m ready.  I’m trying so hard to be patient and I know that when the time is right it’ll happen.  This is just how I’m feeling at this point in my life and I wanted to write it down so that I will never forget.  I’ll never forget this yearning, this need to be closer.  I can look back after were wed and remember how hard all of this waiting truly is.

I am so ready to jump right in..

..I think that he is too.

Unpredictable…

Tonight I’m feeling alone.  Lost.  Sad.  Like I’ve accidentally said all of the wrong things unknowingly caused bad memories to surface.  I’m trying my best to shake these feelings but it’s hard, especially when you can’t pinpoint exactly where their coming from.  So here I sit , listening to country, browsing Facebook and feeling absolutely terrible about myself.  I have so much to do but absolutely zero motivation or desire to get things done.  Really I could just use a big hug, a glass of sweet tea and someone to talk to.  Hopefully tomorrow.  I don’t know if I could take feeling this way for an entire day more.

Now I don’t want you to think I am entirely down on life at the moment, that is not the case.  I love where I currently am.  There are sooo many incredible things happening to me in the here and now, I can’t forget about them.  So here’s a list.  Things I am thankful everyday for.  Things I pray stay with me forever.

1) I am currently with the love of my life.

2) I am more than happy with my roommate who was selected at random.  She is neither normal nor incredibly strange, kind of like myself.

3) I am feeling free, no longer trapped by my tiny town.

4) I am in love with my school, my city.

5) I am surrounded by people who love me.

6) I am finally sleeping through the night.

7) I am getting connected with other christians on my campus.

8) I am surrounded by art people, finally.

9) I am in love with my new job at my new dance studio.

10) I am healthy and I am alive.

That’s only the tip of the positive iceberg.  And through all of this “aloneness” I am trying to remember that.  Trying to remember that being upset is a silly waste of time.  You only have so many minutes to live, why spend that time being sad when you could spend it being happy?

My apologies for the scatterbrainedness of this post.  Maybe it’s because I haven’t blogged in so long or maybe it’s just because there’s a whole heck of a lot on my mind.  Either way my apologizes, maybe someday soon I’ll get better at organizing my thoughts – my life.  Most likely not.  So once again my apologies, maybe my next post will be more meaningful, maybe not.  At this point, when and where I find meaning is pretty unpredictable.  But when I do unearth some revolutionary truth, I will be sure to send it your way.  On that you have my word.